FUCK Small Talk

My boyfriend and I are complete opposites. I am shy and reserved around people I don't know and he can spark up a conversation with someone in the checkout isle, and talk to them like he's known them for a lifetime. I myself, usually won't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. It's just how I've always been. Do I hate my boyfriend for his outgoing personality? No, but sometimes I wished he would tone it down a bit.

This last weekend, we went to one of our friends' parties and he introduced us to his old boss, who happened to be a real chatter. I think my boyfriend got an awakening when he noticed that this old guy talks more than he does, so now he knows how it feels when he's being a chatty Kathy and others are trying to get away. I just smirked, since I was standing beside them the whole time listening to their conversation, but not really interpreting what they were saying.  Kind of like that kid in Charlie Brown that you can't understand.

After someone dragged my boyfriend away, this old man started with the small talk, like "what do I do for work." I told him I do stuff on the internet. I wasn't really wanting to elaborate since he probably doesn't even know what the fuck the internet is, so I just left it at that. He goes oh really, like looking for a job? I shrugged and said sure, since I didn't really want to talk to him at all and definitely not after that remark. He then said he was going to go get some jungle juice and off he went.

This is exactly why I hate small talk. If I want to tell my whole life story to a random stranger, I will go up to you and start sharing my shit with you. Don't come up to me, start asking stuff and then judge me. He's lucky I didn't kick his old man balls all the way up to his chin so he'd look like Peter Griffin.

Even if I did have a professional career, I wouldn't want to share it with the world either, since everyone in a way is judgmental. And I'm sure one person or another would find something wrong with what I did.

Hell, even I am judgmental at times, like those women who wear leggings 10 times too small so you can see their cottage cheese ass and camel toe. It makes me want to come up to you and start tugging on your beef flaps. No one wants that and neither do I.

Does avoiding people because I hate small talk make me seem like an unfriendly bitch? Probably, but do I care? Not really. Next time someone asks what I do, I'm going to tell them I'm a phone sex operator or something of that sort.

Maybe they'll bug off right away, or maybe they won't.